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Messi Turning Boateng Into A Folding Chair Voted Best Goal Of UCL Season

Ahead of the Champions League group stage draw today, UEFA handed out its award for best goal of last season’s tournament. Naturally, it went to this Lionel Messi stunner during that heavyweight fight that was Barcelona-Bayern Munich. I could stare at this GIF for hours: » 8/27/15 10:11am Today 10:11am

Johannes Geis Hammers Home Long-Range Free Kick Golazo

Schalke 04 up-and-comer Johannes Geis gave the supporters in Gelsenkirchen something to anticipate for the forthcoming season as he drilled a perfect free kick into the corner of the net during today’s friendly against Dutch side Twente. Schalke just signed Geis to a four-year contract, and if he can deliver a few… » 8/02/15 12:11pm 8/02/15 12:11pm

For 16 Minutes, Carli Lloyd Was The Greatest Player Of All Time

From the start, it felt like the fate of the United States women’s national team hinged not on talent or tactics or even luck, but on the answers to a series of open questions. Can Alex Morgan get healthy in time to contribute? What do we do with Christen Press and Sydney Leroux? What happens when we pretend a… » 7/06/15 12:27pm 7/06/15 12:27pm

Listen To All Five U.S. Goals As Called By Telemundo's Andrés Cantor

While Fox’s J.P. Dellacamera did an adequate job calling today’s Women’s World Cup final, an even more legendary soccer broadcaster called the match elsewhere on U.S. television: Andrés ¡GOOOOOL! Cantor, on Telemundo. Since you were probably watching on Fox, we’ve compiled all five U.S. goals as aired on the new home… » 7/05/15 10:33pm 7/05/15 10:33pm

Lionel Messi Turns Two Defenders Into Larry And Moe

Look at the image above. It appears to show two well-positioned Paraguayan defenders on the cusp of shepherding the ball away from Lionel Messi. Now, watch the video below, where Messi skips past one, nutmegs the other, and generally jukes them so hard that they crash into each other, left helpless on the grass as… » 7/01/15 2:29pm 7/01/15 2:29pm

"An Absolute Glitterbomb": Chile Takes Lead On Long-Distance Golazo

Chile launched Estadio Nacional into ecstasy when Edu Vargas landed an unreal screamer to put the host side up 2-1 on Peru just minutes after Gary Medel had equalized for the Peruvians in the Copa America semifinal. As you might expect, it sent beIN announcer Ray Hudson into orgasmic screams. » 6/29/15 9:01pm 6/29/15 9:01pm