This Ridiculous Érik Lamela Goal Will Make You Feel Things

OK. Forget the stakes for a second. Forget that these are two bored teams playing in a second-tier tournament. Forget that Érik Lamela has gone his whole career without developing anything resembling a right foot, and still probably makes more money in a week than you do in a year. Is this the sexiest Rabona goal… » 10/23/14 4:14pm 10/23/14 4:14pm

Lionel Messi Almost Scoring Is More Impressive Than Most Actual Goals

A player broadly similar to Lionel Messi might've been what Johan Cruyff imagined Barcelona would produce after implementing his philosophy, but not even the Dutchman could've foreseen this Argentine's specific genius. I mean, try to prevent your jaw from dropping when he merely gets close to scoring: » 10/18/14 4:26pm 10/18/14 4:26pm

Nathaniel Clyne's Walloping 35-Yard Goal Put Southampton Up On Arsenal

This probably isn't news to most of you, but if you want to know why this site is named "Screamer," it's because of goals like this. Nathaniel Clyne belted this thing so hard the ball probably started screaming, and we were screaming while watching it fly in. Hence: Screamer. » 9/23/14 4:00pm 9/23/14 4:00pm

Manchester United Dominate Leicester, End Up Getting Blown Out

You see that little guy up there? That's Filbert the Fox, Leicester City's mascot. Don't worry, he's feeling great. Though his club hosted the rich and famous Manchester United today, his boys managed to take down the giants. Those aren't tears of sadness, they're tears of mockery, directed at the section of United… » 9/21/14 12:09pm 9/21/14 12:09pm

New Footage Proves Zlatan Ibrahimović Has Been Stuntin' Since Birth

Children sometimes have difficulty understanding the origins of God. How, if He was never born, did he emerge fully formed from nothing? Now, thanks to this previously unreleased footage of Zlatan Ibrahimović in his early years, we now have the perfect explanatory analogy. » 9/19/14 5:05pm 9/19/14 5:05pm

Every Univision ¡GOOOL! Of The World Cup, Ranked By Length

We've been fans of ESPN's excellent World Cup coverage, but for your money's worth it's tough to beat the live match broadcasts on Univision. Here's every goal scored thus far in the World Cup, stitched together into one very long ¡GOOOOOOOOOL!. Below you'll find a chart ranking every goal of the tournament by how… » 7/12/14 11:10am 7/12/14 11:10am