"An Absolute Glitterbomb": Chile Takes Lead On Long-Distance Golazo

Chile launched Estadio Nacional into ecstasy when Edu Vargas landed an unreal screamer to put the host side up 2-1 on Peru just minutes after Gary Medel had equalized for the Peruvians in the Copa America semifinal. As you might expect, it sent beIN announcer Ray Hudson into orgasmic screams. » 6/29/15 9:01pm Monday 9:01pm

Germany Kill Off Sweden With Sliding Circus Shot Goal

And thus the German machine charges on. Germany dominated Sweden for nearly the entire 90 minutes in the Round of 16, save a brief spell late on when, leading 3-0, Sweden threatened to make a game of it by scoring once and spurning a golden 1 v. 1 with the keeper. Nevertheless, Germany came right back to squelch any… » 6/20/15 6:01pm 6/20/15 6:01pm

A Goalie Goal For The Portland Thorns!

Even with most of the league’s star players busy with that little event in Canada right now, the NWSL has continued unabated. In German keeper Nadine Angerer’s absence, Michelle Betos has stepped up for the Portland Thorns, saving goals and even scoring the tying one herself deep into stoppage time against FC Kansas… » 6/20/15 10:51am 6/20/15 10:51am

This Long Range Blast Will Be Côte d'Ivoire's One Good World Cup Memory

This Côte d’Ivoire team got hammered by Germany, gave up three goals to Thailand, only avoided a repeat beatdown at the hands Norway today on account of some sorry finishing, and will soon return home from their first World Cup thanks to their fourth-place group finish. But hey, Ange N’Guessan did belt in this, one of… » 6/15/15 6:21pm 6/15/15 6:21pm

Jack Wilshere Hammers Home Equalizer For England [UPDATE: And Again!]

England unexpectedly found themselves down 1-0 to Slovenia after Milivoje Novakovic’s first half goal snuck past Joe Hart, but Arsenal star Jack Wilshere brought The Three Lions back when he ripped a strike from outside the penalty area that Samir Handanović could only get a finger on. » 6/14/15 1:30pm 6/14/15 1:30pm

Mix Diskerud Bicycle-Kicks In Goal; USMNT Is Kinda Hanging With Germany

Hmmm, the USMNT maintaining possession, playing it out from the back, overloading zones with intelligent off-ball movement, good first touches, and a tying goal that wasn’t totally against the run of play while facing one of the world’s best? Maybe we were on to something...
» 6/10/15 4:03pm 6/10/15 4:03pm

Here Are The Top 10 Goals From The Champions League This Season

The order of this list—which you’ll have to click through to view on Youtube because UEFA is a dick—is more than a little questionable (Messi turning Boateng into a 6’ 4” domino isn’t number one?), and how Andrés Iniesta’s length-of-the-pitch jaunt didn’t even make the list almost invalidates the whole thing. These… » 6/09/15 6:48pm 6/09/15 6:48pm

Turns Out Nigeria Really Did Decide To Show Up And Wreck Shit

On one of 1017 Thug’s standout tracks “Nigeria,” Young Thug taunts his enemies, “You nah wet me, I dare ya!” This was apparently the mindset this Nigerian team took to the World Cup, because boy, did they just bust Sweden’s ass in this match. Just look at this goal, and especially that pass! » 6/08/15 6:08pm 6/08/15 6:08pm