Long-Range Half-Volley Golazo Is The Best Goal You Didn't See Today

Mushuc Runa may sit in the bottom half of Ecuador’s Serie A standings, but that didn’t keep Jorge Folleco from gathering up enough courage to strike this ball from well, well away from the goal off the half-volley. It stumped Universidad Católica keeper Hernán Galíndez and turned out to be the decisive goal in a 1-0… » 5/09/15 5:27pm 5/09/15 5:27pm

Augsburg Wins As Bayern Munich Looks Bad Again

Bayern Munich came out poorly in an attempt to rebound after getting crushed in Barcelona earlier this week, only to lose 1-0 to Augsburg after playing most of the match down a man when Pepe Reina earned an early red card. But we’re really here to talk about Raul Bobadilla, whose exceptionally clever goal is what made… » 5/09/15 12:27pm 5/09/15 12:27pm

Lionel Messi Murders Bayern Munich

In what has been one of the greatest, most competitive games you’ll ever see, Lionel Messi reminded the world why he’s the greatest player to ever play the game. Barcelona came out dominating but couldn’t finish any of their numerous chances in a wide open first half, thanks mainly to a Herculean performance by Manuel… » 5/06/15 4:38pm 5/06/15 4:38pm

Hulk Does It Again: Long-Range Strike Draws Zenit Even

Hulk goals lend themselves to hyperbole, and commentators already calling this ‘one of the greatest in Europa League history’ might be going a bit far. But still! This is Hulk, scoring a goal, and as we’ve learned through history that’s almost always a glorious thing. This one drew Zenit St. Petersburg even on… » 4/23/15 4:44pm 4/23/15 4:44pm

Bayern Munich's 6 Goals Against Porto Today, Ranked

Bayern Munich had their backs against the wall. Down 3-1 to Porto after the first leg and short most of their best players due to injury, rather than folding under the pressure, Bayern kicked the shit out of their opponents 6-1, including a 5-0 lead at halftime. Here are all six goals, ranked by a top-secret… » 4/21/15 6:19pm 4/21/15 6:19pm

Oh My God, This Iniesta Run And Assist To Neymar Is A Thing Of Beauty

Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Andrés Iniesta just ran practically the length of the pitch, slaloming past defender after defender before sliding in Neymar for the opener in today’s Barcelona-PSG Champions League return leg. Iniesta has been pretty good this year, but who knew he could still do THAT? » 4/21/15 3:12pm 4/21/15 3:12pm

Fat Ronaldo: Still Rocking An Enormous Gut, Still Scoring Goals

Fat Ronaldo was in France today taking part in the UEFA Match Against Poverty, and he put on the single best display of fat-guy athleticism I think I’ve ever seen. Even wheezing up and down the pitch looking like he had a ball in his shirt, he still managed to contort his considerable girth, like a man 70 pounds… » 4/20/15 6:36pm 4/20/15 6:36pm

Antoine Griezmann Scored An Acrobatic Scissor Kick Because He's Amazing

Atlético Madrid’s Antoine Griezmann is playing out of his mind right now. In his first season in the incredibly demanding Diego Simeone system, playing in a new position as a central striker, he currently sits atop the non-Messi/Ronaldo La Liga scoring table with 20 goals. His 19th, scored on Saturday against… » 4/20/15 3:44pm 4/20/15 3:44pm