Brek Shea Pounds A Free Kick Into The Top Corner To Give USMNT Lead

Zlatan Uses Powerful Hypnosis To Force Keeper Into Shocking Mistake

Some sort of devious eye magic only known by the most learned of warlocks is the only rational explanation for why Moldova's keeper decided to play an inch-perfect cross off of Zlatan Ibrahimović's forehead for the Swede to redirect into the goal (warning: autoplay video): » 3/27/15 6:21pm Friday 6:21pm

Harry Kane Scores In His International Debut, Is Soon To Be Crowned King

All week leading up to today's England-Lithuania Euro 2016 Qualifier, the only thing anyone could talk about was Harry Kane. Will he start? Should he start? Where will he play? How do we make more of him? Coming into the match, you'd have thought the season's Premier League breakout star would get elected Prime… » 3/27/15 5:33pm Friday 5:33pm

USMNT Felled By Hat-Trick Hero Nicklas Bendtner, Who Still Sucks

For the first time this year—at least the first time we'd like to remember—a fit and strong USMNT squad got some run. The opponent was Denmark, stiff competition to be sure. So while USMNT fans could've justifiably been cautiously pleased with the 2-1 lead our boys took into the final 10 minutes of the game, it's… » 3/25/15 5:54pm Wednesday 5:54pm

Karim Benzema's Gorgeous Pass To Ronaldo Helps Tie Up El Clasico 1-1

Karim Benzema's tiny little flick to Ronaldo is a thing of beauty because it's the kind of devilish move that makes soccer special. At first glance, it's just another back-heel. Then Ronaldo comes charging down the pitch with nothing but green and a goalkeeper in front of him and you realize, oh my God, that play was… » 3/22/15 5:06pm 3/22/15 5:06pm

Exquisite Juan Mata Scissor Kick Put Man United 2-0 Up On Liverpool

In what was a fairly insane second half of today's huge Liverpool-Manchester United match, there was at least one moment of brilliance to break up the surrounding nuttiness. That was the criminally underused Juan Mata scoring his second goal of the game in acrobatic fashion. » 3/22/15 11:25am 3/22/15 11:25am

Tim Howard Kinda Just Chills With His Hands Down, Watches Goal Go In

I know. I know. It was a great goal from Dynamo Kiev's Andriy Yarmolenko. Someone should've, could've stepped to the ball, at some point. Tim Howard probably couldn't have gotten to it anyway. I know. That's all out of the way. » 3/19/15 3:12pm 3/19/15 3:12pm

Holy Mother Carlos Tevez Just Bombed Germany With This Rocket Golazo

Juventus and Borussia Dortmund are playing today, right now. A few minutes ago, they kicked off. Then two minutes passed. Then Juventus's Carlos Tevez got the ball. Then he blew up Germany's hopes, and also Germany. No more high-quality vehicles for anyone. Because there's no more Germany. Germany's gone. » 3/18/15 4:04pm 3/18/15 4:04pm

This Is How Being The Biggest Dude In The World Helps You Score Goals

When Adebayo Akinfenwa last dropped-kicked our door down and announced his presence, he showed off his nose for goal with a tap-in against Liverpool in the F.A. Cup. It was a perfectly fine striker's goal, but it wasn't exactly what you'd hoped to see from a guy with a 97 strength rating in FIFA. This is more like it. » 3/17/15 11:14am 3/17/15 11:14am

Romelu Lukaku Channels His Inner Marshawn Lynch On This Bulldozing Run

This is probably as close as you'll get to seeing Beast Mode's famous Beast Quake run recreated on a soccer pitch. Everton's Romelu Lukaku knocks over a good three or four defenders before laying off the assist for Steven Naismith's equalizer, proving that he is indeed 'bout that action: » 3/12/15 5:49pm 3/12/15 5:49pm

USWNT Striker Christen Press Is Way Too Fast

Like, those six players the USWNT's Christen Press runs past aren't scrubs. That's France, one of the best national teams in the world. And even they can't keep up with Press as, with two wicked bursts, she flies past them like they're stuck in quicksand before passing the ball into the back of the net. » 3/11/15 2:42pm 3/11/15 2:42pm

Racing Club's Ingenious Goal Is Why We Need More Free Kick Shenanigans

Seriously, why isn't there more experimentation on free kicks? As Racing Club proved in the Copa Libertadores last night, there are trickier, probably more effective ways to score from a dead ball than just thumping it vaguely towards goal. We have enough evidence. Let's put it to use. » 3/11/15 12:41pm 3/11/15 12:41pm

Cristiano Ronaldo's Forehead Saved Real Madrid's Ass

Ugh. Uggggghhhhhhhh. Just when we looked so close to seeing this shaky Real Madrid team gag up their 2-0 first leg lead in the Champions League to Schalke, of all teams, up sprang that leaping salmon Cristiano Ronaldo to save the day. » 3/10/15 5:54pm 3/10/15 5:54pm

Porto Player Curls In Free Kick; Keeper Just Stands There Like "Nah"

That's got to be the worst feeling for a keeper, seeing a free kick swerve towards goal, knowing full well you have no chance of getting to it, and praying that the bangs off the crossbar or something right as you hear the ball twisting against the nylon of the net. » 3/10/15 4:31pm 3/10/15 4:31pm

Paul Pogba Scores Great Goal, Has Great Hair, Is Great

While Arsenal were laying the smackdown on Manchester United today, ex-United player Paul Pogba was in Italy's Serie A playing for Juventus, and he was flourishing, and it was a beautiful thing to behold, and we're unspeakably lucky to have him in our life doing wondrous things, all the time. » 3/09/15 6:23pm 3/09/15 6:23pm

Damn, Even We Have To Admit That This Seattle Sounders Goal Is A Beauty

You know how we feel about MLS, but still, even we can't front on a team goal of this quality. This is a textbook three man weave the likes of which you'd be happy to pull off in training, let alone a match. Pure class. Bravo, Sounders. » 3/08/15 11:29pm 3/08/15 11:29pm

Yawn: Just Another Unbelievable Messi Pass For Neymar To Chip Home

Jeez, we get it guys, you three Barcelona forwards can score whenever you want. But how many times this season have we seen the ball go from Suárez to Messi to the Twilight Zone to Neymar and into the net? Maybe switch it up once or twice. You know, for our sake. » 3/04/15 2:34pm 3/04/15 2:34pm

Hulk Can Score Rocket Goals With Either Foot

Hulk hammered home a long-range rocket today against PSV in Europa League action, and while we've featured plenty of the Zenit St. Petersburg striker's heroics around here, we'd like to note that today's feat came off his right, and supposedly weaker, foot. » 2/26/15 1:37pm 2/26/15 1:37pm

No-Good, Terrible Defending Gives Monaco Commanding Lead On Arsenal

"Hey Gunners," Dimitar Berbatov said with a wry grin, wheeling away towards the corner flag after some shockingly terrible defending sent the former Spurs and Red Devil striker free on goal to put Monaco up 2-0, "remember me?" » 2/25/15 4:25pm 2/25/15 4:25pm

This Barcelona Goal Has Manchester City Defenders Looking Like Children

Much has been made of Barcelona, who, though still dope as hell, are diminished from the time a few years back when they were invincible, and Luis Suárez, who is no longer the best player on his own team, let alone in the league. But Barcelona and Suárez are back in England today against Manchester City in the… » 2/24/15 3:42pm 2/24/15 3:42pm