Totally Agenda-less Sources: Tom Brady Is A Really Great Guy

In a 10-hour hearing at NFL headquarters yesterday, Tom Brady defended himself against accusations he was involved in Ballghazi and appealed his four-game suspension. If we are to believe ESPN’s sources, who certainly have no motivation other than disseminating god’s truth, Brady was so good, his suspension will… » 6/24/15 1:29pm 6/24/15 1:29pm

How To Survive Your Favorite Team's Dumb, Embarrassing Scandal 

St. Louis Cardinals fans have had to deal with everyone heaping shit on their team for awhile now, and at times, they’ve reacted poorly. With yesterday’s revelation of the FBI investigation into team officials hacking the Astros for information, the Best Fans in Baseball should prepare for a new truckload of shit.… » 6/17/15 10:42am 6/17/15 10:42am

What The Fresh Hell Is This Rob Gronkowski Video?

Gregarious tricep Rob Gronkowski did an interview with DuJourwe have no idea what it is, but it claims to be “Where Luxury Lives”—and while the written profile doesn’t cover much new ground outside of Gronk’s drinking preferences, which we’ll get to later, the video accompanying the article is quite ridiculous. » 6/01/15 1:35pm 6/01/15 1:35pm

The Dispute Between Robert Kraft And Roger Goodell Just Got Sexy

As the Patriots and NFL clandestinely negotiate a mutual agreement to avoid legal war, Adam Schefter hints that owner Robert Kraft and commissioner Roger Goodell are now back on good terms. Schefter comes to this conclusion because a source told him that Kraft and Goodell hung out on a couch and hugged Saturday night. » 5/19/15 11:07am 5/19/15 11:07am

Report: The NFL Asked The Patriots To Make Themselves Look Guilty

And the Patriots complied! Ballghazi by this point is a stacked farce, where every new outrageous development only serves to obscure why we were supposed to be outraged in the first place. But one very paradoxical question still looms large: If the Patriots, as they maintain, shouldn’t be punished because there’s no… » 5/19/15 10:38am 5/19/15 10:38am

Report: NFL And Pats Participating In "Back-Channel Conversations"

The NFL and New England Patriots find themselves in a messy dispute that has the potential to irreparably damage the league. The NFL levied a harsh punishment upon Tom Brady and the Patriots based upon middling evidence, and are basically making up league rules on the fly. Meanwhile, Tom Brady’s appeal claims that his… » 5/19/15 12:25am 5/19/15 12:25am

Robert Kraft: The NFL Hasn't Been Fair To The Patriots

Patriots owner Robert Kraft has clammed up since his team was hit with significant discipline for its alleged ball-deflating ways, with the pushback against the NFL coming from third parties, on social media, and in a 20,000-word rebuttal/manifesto that would’ve made Ted Kaczynski proud. No longer: Kraft has finally… » 5/18/15 1:15pm 5/18/15 1:15pm

Perjury Charges Against Shayanna Jenkins Officially Dropped

Aaron Hernandez’s fiancée, Shayanna Jenkins, was back in court today so that perjury charges that had previously been brought against her by prosecutors could be dismissed. Jenkins was originally charged with perjury following her grand jury testimony, but was later promised immunity in exchange for taking the stand… » 5/15/15 10:31am 5/15/15 10:31am

Pats' Ballghazi Defense: "The Deflator" Was Just Trying To Lose Weight

The New England Patriots have officially fired back at Ted Wells’s Ballghazi report, in the form of an impenetrable Wordpress page that might as well be titled Loose Balls: The Truth About PSI. The site contains an attempt by one of the Patriots’ lawyers to fisk Wells’s report, and although it’s an exhausting read,… » 5/14/15 12:14pm 5/14/15 12:14pm