Holy Shit, Christen Press's First Touch Will Make Your Knees Buckle

Oh my god look at this first touch from Christen Press. She doesn’t just expertly control a cross whipped into her, but no-look uses the outside of her foot (her heel?!) to gently drop the ball just a few feet in beside her to wheel around and smash home. It should be illegal to be this skilled and composed around the…

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Liverpool Fans Leave Anfield In Protest, Liverpool Joins Them By Immediately Giving Up A Pair Of Goals

Liverpool fans planned and executed a 77th minute walkout from today’s game against Sunderland to protest ticket prices getting increases up to £77, and apparently, their team decided to join them in protest, so they laid down and let Sunderland of all teams roar back and tie them 2-2.

Joe Hart's Tremendous Save Brings Russell Brand To His Feet In Anguish

Man City keeper Joe Hart kept his side even with West Ham United with a brilliant save of a Dimitry Payet free kick that brought anguish to the supporters at Upton Park—especially Russell Brand, in attendance with pal Noel Gallagher. Depending on whether you think Brand is an asshole or if you think he’s an asshole…

Read The Leaked Transfer Agreement Between Manchester United And Monaco For Anthony Martial 

Manchester United paid Monaco €50 million ($54.5 million) in September for teenage striking sensation Anthony Martial, a fee that will almost assuredly rise to €70 million ($76.2 million) and could rise to €80 million ($87.1 million) in the next few years. This in the neighborhood of what was reported at the time, but…

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John Terry Goal In 98th Minute Saves Miracle Point For Chelsea

After Everton took a 3-2 lead over Chelsea in the 90th minute, it looked like the Toffees had their first win at Stamford Bridge since 1994. But it wasn’t to be, as (an offside) John Terry redeemed his earlier own goal and scored in what can only be described as the stoppage time of stoppage time. It had to end this…

Kevin Mirallas Finishes Off Gorgeous Play To Give Everton 2-0 Road Lead On Chelsea

After a John Terry own goal gave Everton a 1-0 lead at Stamford Bridge, the Toffees scored one for themselves on a terrific half-volley from Kevin Mirallas off a, perhaps, sub-optimal cross by Leighton Baines. No matter; it only allowed Mirallas the opportunity to show up marvelous control.