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Personally, we had no idea they kept world records for different age groups. If you have to give an all-time record a qualifier, it's not really an all-time record anymore, now is it? We mean, hey, we own the best time in leaping from couch to rapidly burning pizza in stove by someone aged in their late 20s and from a small town in Southern Illinois, but we're not sure we'd classify that as a "record."

That said, it's impossible not to be happy for tiny Asian man Kozo Haraguchi this morning, who yesterday set the world record in the 100-meter "dash" for men aged 95-99. His time was 22.04 seconds. His quote is precious:

"I ran, thinking I shouldn't fall because everyone was cheering for me. I will keep working as hard as possible."

We suppose that's what really matters when you're 95 years old and running a sprint: If you can make it without falling, odds are pretty good you're going to set some sort of record.

Haraguchi Breaks 100m Track World Record [ChinaView]