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We tend to find European sports terminology hilarious, mainly because it points to how equally absurd American sports terminology is. We all might know what "a blooper to shallow left" means, but to anyone not intimately familiar with baseball terminology, that's just nonsensical babbling. So here's a look at the big news of the week in odd, confusing sports in other lands, with our translation.

Southland stayed in the contest as the Lions infringed at the ruck in their familiar attempts to slow down the ball.
(Rugby tactics. We believe Tim Duncan did a little infringing at the ruck last night against the Pistons) []

Justin Murphy (30 touches) and James Hird (25 disposals) were instrumental in the win with Murphy setting up play well off a half-back flank and Hird important around the stoppages.
(Frankly, we're lost. Nothing beats Australian Rules Football — these writers really earn their pay). []

Shane's googlies may have been touched up.
(Cricket star's private parts may have been enhanced in a painting. If we had a Euro for every time that's happened to us ...) []