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After pointing out last week that "Cold Pizza"'s Woody Paige had been reduced to eating dog food live on camera, we've heard some more news about everybody's favorite "columnist."

We hear whispers that Paige — a longtime favorite of now-departed ESPN head honcho Mark Schapiro, the man credited with keeping Paige on the show — chose to skip the huge, 300-person going-away shindig for Shapiro last Thursday. We hear he purposely decided to bypass the party because he was not going to be allowed to bring his girlfriend.

We think it's because the hors d'oeuvres weren't Alpo brand.

Yeah, Red Smith Totally Used To Eat Weird Crap [Deadspin]