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We're not saying that the NHL is pulling out all stops to try to bring fans back, but ... well, we'll just let a reader explain what they found in their mailbox the other day.

We received a package in the mail today from The [New York] Islanders. Being life-long Rangers fans, my first inclination was to toss it. But curiosity got the better of me, so I opened it to find a "Family Fun" brochure. What got me were several things:

• Ride on the Zamboni between periods for $250. Or drop the puck at center ice for $500, or stand behind the radio broadcasters for a period (insert your own comment here) for $250.

• High-Five the team (HUH?) for $100. Does that include spit?

The other things that really got me was "Bring Sparky and the Ice Girls to Your Event." Seems you can "make a bang" (I'm not joking, this is in the copy!) at your next "family party" by inviting the Islanders cheerleaders — well, either "Sparky" or one "Ice Girl" starting at $150 for two hours. So, what do they do for two hours? Hmmm.

Honestly, we are getting out our checkbooks right now and writing a check for $100. We have always dreamed of high-fiving Petteri
Nokelainen, Oleg Kvasha, Janne Niinimaa and Mattias Weinhandl. Question, though: Do we have to be wearing skates when we high-five them? Because we'd probably fall down.

New York Islanders [Official Site]