• Lesbian cheerleaders getting it on in a bathroom? What more can we tell you? It, you know, seems like the type of story people might be into.
• We went to go check out Dennis Rodman's book signing, and it made us almost as sad as it made his agent jaw-droppingly (and hilariously) furious. We love this job sometimes.
• Hi, Skip Bayless! Have you met our friend William Hocutt?
• It's official, say you: Mark Cuban would kick Bill Simmons' ass.
• Put a goat on a trampoline, and who knows what kind of wacky hijinks might ensue.
• ESPN and Steve Phillips played dressup all week, and we, for about 30 seconds, sympathized with the "real" journalists who had to play along. Then we stopped.
• Kyle Orton shows the exact right way for athletes to handle the Internet. Everyone please take notes, there will be a quiz.
• Somebody please tell Clinton Portis that Halloween is over. Actually, don't. He'll keep coming up with stuff like this.
• Hey, anybody think we could get Terrell Owens to come over and play Madden this week? He's certainly not busy or anything.
• Honestly, you didn't really forget about the Vikings sex boat cruise, did you?
• "Everybody cut, everybody cut ... everybody cut Peyton Manning!"
Also, we're still taking entrants in our best athlete run-in stories contest. You can, like, win a book. A good one too.
Whew, what a week. Salute a veteran, and have a weekend most pleasant.