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Life's tough when you're a former athlete — just ask Prancing Boy Jerry Rice — but thankfully, if you live in Cincinnati, there's always work for Miller, running around and getting people beer.

Currently on eBay: A chance to make former Bengals receiver Isaac Curtis run out and get you beer at halftime. This Sunday, if you live within 40 miles of Paul Brown Stadium, you can shell out the cash (current bidding: $51) for Curtis to pull the same stunt they pull in all those Miller ads.

We assume, of course, that noted field runner Greg Gall is ineligible for this bidding. We wonder, however, if ESPN could put together a similar promotion involving Michael Irvin. Ahem.

Your Very Own Beer Runner [eBay]
Greg Gall Free To Stumble Down Street [Deadspin]