It's a bowling trophy as designed by a man taking heavy amounts of hallucinogens, or perhaps basement schlock in the 23rd century.
If Notre Dame wins this trophy, it will have to store it in a basement as an abomination against God. If Ohio State wins it, well, it immediately becomes the tallest building in Columbus. And no matter who wins the Fiesta Bowl, expect this to be unclaimed for a long, long time. And it's gonna take half the offensive line to carry the damned thing anyway.