What to watch as you finally come to terms with the notion that Clinton Portis has jumped the couch ...
• College Basketball: DePaul at Pittsburgh. It's Throwdown Thursday in the Big East! Which makes absolutely no sense to us!! [ESPN]
• PGA Tour, Sony Open, first round, at Honolulu. Want to mess with our homeboy, Greg Chalmers? It's your funeral. We warned you, dog. [ESPN]
• NBA: Detroit at San Antonio; Cleveland at L.A. Lakers. Kobe vs. LeBron should be relatively entertaining, hmm? The NBA should probably try to hype that up or something. [TNT]