Here's the thing about the ESPN "reality" series Bonds on Bonds; everyone seems to have an opinion on it, but practically no one has actually seen it. Even Barry himself missed the debut episode on Tuesday. We don't know what the ratings were, but they can't be good; ESPN went into damage control on Wednesday, rolling out ESPN All-Night radio host Jason Smith and his unique brand of spin. Smith hasn't mentioned Bonds much, or once even, since the whole Game of Shadows story broke. But on Wednesday night (Thursday morning on the East Coast) suddenly he coldn't stop talking about it, inviting listeners to call in with their theories in a segment entitled Barry Bonds, Why I'm OK With It. That was the real name of the segment. We guess Barry Bonds, Incredible Tool was taken.
As you may have guessed, every call was either complimentary to Bonds, or neutral. So, way to go, ESPN call screeners! Your Medal of Freedom is in the mail.
Earlier Wednesday, Barry had a game to play; and the Giants beat the Padres 3-1 before a subdued crowd at Petco Park, their numbers reduced substantially from Monday's raucous sellout. Security was tight; Barry had ten or so guards near him at all times, except when he was at the plate (hit by pitch, walk, reached on error), and when he was lumbering around in the outfield. Lost in all of this, we must point out, is the fact that Bonds is the heaviest he's ever been, and he's 41; he can barely move, let alone steal a base. He's next to useless in the outfield. He's still around for one reason and one reason only. Well, the reality show makes two reasons.
Next up is the Giants' home opener this afternoon, and Bonds is scheduled to be in the lineup. Come by AT&T Park and feel the love! By the way, the first fan to show up at a Giants game wearing a syringe costume will be the official Deadspin mascot for the entire season. Plus, we will, like, worship you. So get to work, kids!