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As The Masters tee off today β€” complete with cigarettes and littered beer cans everywhere β€” we cast our eyes again to Jim Nantz. After playing toadie to Billy Packer for a while β€” and is there a worse possible job description on earth than "Billy Packer's toadie?" β€” Nantz heads to Augusta, a place he calls "better than any event I could ever cover."

At first, it seems like no human being has ever been more ideal for Augusta and Hootie Johnson than Nantz, who seems about as white-bread and WASPy as they come. To quote Straight Bangin', "Simply put, he is the blazer-clad apotheosis of the golf WASP. The big smile, the soft hair, the conservative sensibilities, the ersatz charm, the Pollyannaish morality, the bland sense of humorβ€”he's got it all."

Straight Bangin' points out that in spite of this picture, Nantz is not Jewish (he married a Jewish woman), which is reassuring, because if Jim Nantz is Jewish, we don't know anything anymore. Nantz is kind of a blank man, which is probably what makes him the perfect CBS broadcaster; bland, inoffensive, empty, he takes on the character of whatever surrounds him. Though with company like Billy Packer and Hootie Johnson, that's pretty much just as bad.

Jim Nantz: Jewish Operative [Straight Bangin']
Jim Nantz's Transformation: More Than Meets the Chai [Straight Bangin']