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Two things you can count on with Keith Hernandez, we suppose: 1. To help you move (if you're a guy, specifically Jerry Seinfeld); 2. To tell you to move (if you're a woman, specifically Padres' therapist Kelly Calabrese). Hernandez kind of put his foot in it during Sunday's Mets' radio television broadcast when he spotted Calabrese in the Padres' dugout, giving a high-five to a player who had just homered. Hernandez's Archie Bunker moment went like this:

Who is the girl in the dugout, with the long hair? What's going on here? You have got to be kidding me. Only player personnel in the dugout.

After being told that Calabrese was a massage therapist for the Padres:

I won't say that women belong in the kitchen, but they don't belong in the dugout.

As usual, the coverup was worse than the actual crime. Later in the broadcast, Hernandez tried to dismiss the issue with a weak apology, something along the lines of: "But, I kid the women ..." Needless to say hardly anyone was amused. At the very least this little incident will blow over in a couple of days. At the very most it will be the beginnings of the Mets' very own baseball curse, rivaling that of the Cubs. See you in the World Series in about 90 years, Mets fans!

Keith Hernandez Can Be A Little Bitch [Gaslamp Ball]