It's been a while since we've heard from Jay Mariotti, an unspeakably bad writer and stain of a human being who once pleaded no contest to misdemeanor stalking and assault charges after getting into a physical altercation with his then-girlfriend. We weren't and aren't quite sure what he's been up to, but a reader from San Francisco has provided us with an update. Jay, for some reason that doesn't interest us, had a photo shoot!

Mariotti is really channeling that "Who cares if my face looks like a bowl of mushed up hot dogs? These new hair plugs got me feeling downright regal!" swag in the picture above, but my favorite shot is this one:

My man looks like a befuddled knuckle.