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You know I wouldn't neglect you, soccer fans...

Chelsea 3-0 Manchester United. Hooray, Chelsea wins the title... and me, with no champagne to celebrate. Great performance, United, in a game you absolutely had to win. Would you like to just go ahead and build Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho a nice trophy case, too? And this was just the beginning of the bad news for Manchester United fans...

Wayne Rooney injured. Wayne Rooney is down, and it is bad. Actually, it's not so much a blow to Manchester United as it is to Team England, who desperately need Rooney for the World Cup. He's going to need six weeks to recover from the foot injury. England has to name their final team before May 15th. Rooney, at the moment, is expected to make the trip.

Tottenham 1-0 Bolton. Tottenham seems to have a death grip on the fourth spot in the league standings (a win next week wraps it up), which gets them into next year's Champions League. That means Arsenal, in the fifth spot, has to beat FC Barcelona in this year's Champion's League final, if they want to take Tottenham's spot. The Final is May 27th, and it will be awesome.

Birmingham City 0-0 Newcastle United. So long, Birmingham... you are no longer allowed to join in our reindeer games. After four years in the Premiership, you'll be stepping down a level. Tell Sunderland we said hello.