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As always, we giggle with anticipation for ESPN ombudsman George Solomon's monthly "OK, so, you guys are kind of a disgrace to American journalism, but hey, we're all friends here, and besides, sports are fun!" ombudsman column for ESPN, and this month's entry has all the usual limp admonishments, with questions about "Bonds on Bonds," a dopey nudge at Tony Kornheiser and, our favorite, a tender hand slap at Stuart Scott for his soul-destroying poetry slams. Scott defends the "poems" by saying, "the reading of poetry is an African-American thing — expressing emotion," and we agree; no one better represents the plight of African-Americans than Stuart Scott. We therefore apologize for stabbing ourselves in the face everytime he does one.

Solomon also chides Scott for being too "chummy" with athletes. In case you're not sure what he's talking about, we remind you of Scott's comments while hosting the ESPN New Years Eve "extravaganza" in December:

"When you go to the sporting events and you're watching the athletes compete as hard as they can, stop booing, OK? There's no point in booing these athletes. They've all worked hard. They've all trained hard, and let's see you get out there and do it, all right?

"If you want to go and have fun and cheer your team, do that, but if your team, if your guy, if your girl doesn't do anything, c'mon, man, don't boo them."

And in that, you know why there's no live studio audience for "SportsCenter."

Bonds Show Light On Answers [ESPN]
They're Not Booing. They're Yelling Stuuuuuu ... [Deadspin]