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If you're the type of person who tunes in half because you think it's a part of the national conversation and half because there was a chance David Blaine would die a violent death on national television and you didn't want to miss it, you might have noticed that the host of Blaine's "look at me, I've got PRUNE hands!" self-aggrandizing special last night was none other than ... ESPN "SportsCenter" anchor Stuart Scott. He's apparently ABC/ESPN's go-to guy for coverage of live pseudo-events.

Scott was basically there to introduce remote, pre-taped Blaine segments, interview Blaine's "doctors and handlers" and, mostly, look concerned and speak in grave, "this is a man's LIFE!" tones. The event was vapid, pointless and ultimately a total failure; Scott was clearly the man for the job.


After Blaine fell short, Scott, off-camera, narrated the proceedings with his typical gravitas.

"While Blaine did not achieve what he had set out to do, people watched him."

To quote Opinionated Facts, which chronicled the whole proceedings, "The next time something bad happens to you in life, just think about what Lil' Stuey would say. If you fail a test, tell your parents that you may have failed but at least your teacher graded it. If you rob a bank and get caught, tell the police that you may have broken the law but at least other people have money."


What did we think of the whole thing? We think that if there is a more perfect job for Stuart Scott than being the host of a David Blaine special, we don't know what it is.

"I'm A National Failure [Opinionated Facts]
They're Not Booing. They're Yelling "Stuuuuu!!" [Deadspin]
David Blaine Is An Astronaut [YouTube] (VIDEO)