• NHL Playoffs: Sharks 3, Oilers 6. It was probably a strange morning for you if you fell asleep in the 2nd period while the Sharks were kicking back with a comfortable 3-1 lead.
• MLB: White Sox 1, Twins 10. Johan Santana is a dangerous man when the Twins remember to provide that little thing called "run support."
• NBA Playoffs: Heat 103, Nets 92. Dwyane Wade seems to be making a habit of this "come out of the locker room and then destroy the opposition thing." The Heat should start every game with Shaq punching Wade in the stomach.
And by the way... Hello, everyone. You all look nice today. If there's anything I can do for you, it's email@example.com. Don't hesitate. And hey, between watching sports and clicking "Refresh" on Deadspin every 10 seconds today, go out and buy your mom something. Write her a poem. Do something nice. Because if you wait until 2 a.m. tonight and have to pick something out for her at the 24-hour convenience store, she'll know.