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Jon Kreft is a seven-foot-tall, Uwe Blab of a center, and he's the top recruit coming to Florida State next year.

Well, maybe. Last Thursday, he was arrested in South Florida and charged with felony cocaine possession and misdemeanor marijuana drug-paraphernalia possession. But that's only the boring legal part of the story. Mostly, Kreft showed off an impressive array of post moves.

"'Kreft then stated to [police] that he had something else on him, and said it was in the [crevice] of his buttocks. Jonathan was then given permission to retrieve it, at which time he stuck his hands between his buttocks, and a small plastic bag fell to the ground with suspect cocaine in it.''

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Because we're just exhausted of the media's inability to allow people to remain innocent until proven guilty, we will give Kreft the benefit of the proverbial doubt. Who among us has not been startled by unanticipated anal findings? One time we found a piece of chicken down there. By the way, the driver of the car was not arrested. He was a minor and driving with a learner's permit. Yeah. If he makes it, Kreft is gonna do just fine in Florida.

Seminoles Recruit Arrested [Tallahassee Democrat]