Warning: The latest cologne-soaked issue of GQ does not come without pitfalls, and we're not talking about the six-page spread on Tommy Lee and his addiction to searsucker suits. Although we could be. No, to what we refer is much more horrible.
Since 1979, the leading men of ESPN have entertained and informed us with their trademark catchphrases, knowledge and wit, both on-air and off. These guys keep looking cool while looking sharp in the latest threads from CoolMax brand. This soft, lightweight fabric helps keep moisture away from your body to keep you cool, dry and comfortable ...
It's all right there, in a disturbing clothing ad featuring ESPN fashion horses Steve Levy, Trey Wingo, Mike Greenberg, John Anderson, Kenny Mayne ... and oh look, there's Chris Berman "holding court in a front pocket polo knit in black and skyway. All clothing available at Macy's. Yahtzee!" (Yes, it really says that).
If there's anyone who needs "soft, lightweight fabric that helps keep moisture away from your body," we imagine it's Berman. Among the headlines in the four-page spread, presented by NYNE, CoolMax and Macy's (heretofore referred to as the Axis of Evil), is "They Could Go All The Way." Under that headline:
Trey shares space with Steve and Mike after another day at ESPN headquarters. He wears an NYNE shirt with CoolMax with deep sea poplin bias check with Lycra. Mike proves he is the ultimate arbiter of cool in a tailor-fit plo knit with CoolMax.
For the record, we may never stop talking about this. Sometimes this job is just too easy.