Photo: Alex Brandon/AP

Another March in D.C. The Skins are trying to humiliate their GM into quitting; the team’s cheerleaders accidentally made a sixth-grade class horny; and Dan Snyder’s generally being a supreme penis. Quarterback Kirk Cousins wants to get off this ride, according to ESPN’s Chris Mortensen.

Kirk, you sweet boy: You’re fucked. The stink will stay on you forever. Look at what happened to RG3. Embrace perdition.