MLB

August 25-27 will officially be known as “Players Weekend” in MLB, but let’s be real—no one will ever think of it as anything besides Nickname Weekend.

Players were allowed to choose the names that will appear on the back of their uniforms that weekend, and let us give credit where credit is due: This is a really cool thing. It’s fun, it’s informal, it allows players’ personalities to shine—it is, in short, so un-MLBlike. I can’t wait until Daddy gets ejected for bumping an ump, and Free Love throws a no-hitter and his jersey is sent to Cooperstown.

All the nicknames haven’t yet been collected in one place, though SI.com has a good gateway to each team’s. But I’ve seen enough to have opinion. Here are a handful of my favorite, and below that, my least favorite nicknames, in no particular order.


The best ones

Francisco Lindor

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Devon Travis
Jarrod Dyson (Rhymes with “kumbaya”)
Gary Sanchez

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Kyle Seager (This is adorable. But it’s also kind of sad that Corey is just going with “Seager”?)
David Freese (He has a friend with a dog named Dave, so when they’re hanging out, he’s Davehuman. “It’s funny to, like, five people,” Freese said.)
Brad Hand

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Jay Bruce
Shin-Soo Choo (Joey Votto is “Tokki 2,” and the story behind it is a good one.)
Jose Quintana (It’s a little tough to see with the font, but that’s “Q,” the second-coolest letter.)

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Xavier Cedeno (The coolest letter)
Didi Gregorius (The Dutch-born Gregorius was actually knighted, receiving the Order of Orange-Nassau along with his teammates for winning the 2011 Baseball World Cup.)
Jose Abreu (He was born in the Mal Tiempo neighborhood of Cruces, Cuba, and it means “Bad Weather.”)

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Mike Napoli
Sean Doolittle (That first letter is a D; he’s not a ghost.)
Aaron Altherr (A Key & Peele reference.)

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Roberto Osuna
Max Scherzer (who has heterochromia)
Adrian Gonzalez

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Carlos Torres (“The Butcher”)
Patrick Kivlehan
AJ Griffin (Yep, the hair checks out.

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Andre Ethier
Gregory Infante
Hyun-Soo Kim (It’s his name)

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Bruce Maxwell
Logan Forsythe (This is Chris Archer’s name for his old teammate.)
Ty Kelly (Of interest to journalists)

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Carl Edwards Jr.
Luis Torrens
Wellington Castillo

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Ross Stripling
Nick VIncent
Josh Phegley (He has not actually ever been a Player to Be Named Later, but there’s still plenty of time.)

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Josh Hader
Matt Duffy
Michael Blazek

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Bronson Arroyo



The bad ones

Jedd Gyorko (Let this one be a stand-in for the many, many players who just used their last names. SO BORING.)

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Blake Wood (First names aren’t much better.)
Carlos Correa (It sounds like “diarrhea.”)
Randall Delgado

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Phil Hughes
Craig Kimbrel
Doug Fister (What is going on in Boston?)

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Ian Happ (C’mon, this is a hockey-level lack of creativity.)
Travis d’Arnaud (He’s proud of his lil D)
Will Harris