Deadspin did a blind milk taste test. There were multiple fat percentages, and one non-cow wild card. Each of the six participants sipped the four milks and recorded their answers. You should watch the video, but here are the results:

  1. Hannah Keyser—4/4
  2. Laura Wagner—3/4
  3. Tom Ley—2/4
  4. Nick Martin—2/4
  5. Barry Petchesky—1/4
  6. Jon Eiseman—0/4

You might be reasonably asking why we did a milk taste test in the first place. The answer, dear reader, is because I love milk and drink it as much as possible which some people think is gross and weird for an adult but is actually healthy and good for teeth and bones. And also because I talk so much shit in our staff chat.

I identified three out of four milks, failing to identify the goat milk (when I said I could distinguish between all percentages of milk, I meant real milk), and was feeling good about my chances to win.

But then Hannah, who doesn’t even drink dairy milk, got all four right. Sincere congratulations to Hannah. This post is my penance. I, a sore winner but gracious loser, will eat crow. And wash it down with milk.