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Austin Rivers, hilariously spastic and wonderfully confident basketball player, has reportedly been fined $25,000 for scolding a court-side Clippers fan during the team’s Thursday night loss to the streaking Utah Jazz:

If you listen very closely, it sounds like Rivers might be threatening to slap the fan, but that’s just a guess. Here’s Rivers’s side of things, according to Tomer Azarly of Clutch Points:

“He was being a fairweather ass fan,” said Rivers. “He was talking shit about the team, but he was cheering the first half. And then the second half he was talking about Steve Ballmer and Doc and DJ and saying demeaning stuff to my other teammates. Austin and DJ, y’all need help. I don’t like that. I like fans who ride or die with you, and there’s a lot of good ones here that show up to the game.

“He was talking shit about the team, not even me.”

I feel compelled to mention that this exchange came immediately after a delicious sequence that featured Rivers chucking up and badly bricking an awful three-point attempt, trying to flop his way into a foul, failing, and then committing a humiliating intentional foul at the other end in order to allow his coach (and dad) to empty the bench. Now, granted, any five minute stretch of Austin Rivers burn is likely to feature that exact sequence of events, but it does cut into his “he was talking shit about the team, not even me” explanation. Why wouldn’t the fan be talking shit about Rivers, there. Or, for that matter, right now?


Rivers stuck to this line in expressing regret for his actions after getting hit with the fine, per ESPN:

“I definitely shouldn’t have said anything,” Rivers told reporters. “This is the message I want to say. I’m sorry for using profanity, but I was sticking up for my teammate, bottom line.”

Sure thing, bud.