Our ovoid president took his first physical exam this morning, and you will not be surprised to learn that the natural athlete is in “excellent health.” Though his arteries may be as grease-occluded as any gout-afflicted Tudor monarch, and while he sleeps just four or five hours a night, the president clocked in at 6-foot-3 and 239 pounds, which puts this absolute unit just one pound shy of obesity, technically speaking. Given the president’s preference for tent-like suits and golf garb, it can be hard to know our chief executive’s contours, but now that we have some hard and definitive and undoubtedly completely honest figures to assess, we can better understand just what kind of physical shape the president is in.
Here, for further context, are Trump’s closest physical comparisons from the world of sports.
Derrick Henry - 6-foot-3, 238 pounds
Luke Kuechly - 6-foot-3, 235 pounds
Albert Pujols - 6-foot-3, 240 pounds
Salvador Perez - 6-foot-3, 240 pounds
Mike Trout - 6-foot-2, 235 pounds
Kiko Alonso - 6-foot-3, 238 pounds
Derrick Johnson - 6-foot-3, 242 pounds
Barkevious Mingo - 6-foot-4, 239 pounds