Photo: Frederick Brown (Getty)

Here are the facts: The Winds Of Winter, the sixth book in George RR Martin’s A Song Of Ice And Fire series, is still not out. Science predicted it would come out about a year ago, and the first chapters surfaced in 2011 (though they were cut from his previous book). GRRM himself claimed he was months away two years ago, telling Deadspin, “Of course I have pages!” in April 2016. He announced plans (sort of) to release a book this year, but it’s a bunch of repurposed old pages telling the ancient family history of the Targaryen dynasty. Fans are getting antsy, and yet, it’s as true as it ever has been: The man has no pages.

Does his slow pace have anything to do with him palling around at a Dead show in Mexico with ESPN radio host Stugotz? Almost certainly not! Everyone needs a vacation!

George, we’d be delighted if you were to own us off the face of the Earth and release pages.