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John Tortorella Insists That Artemi Panarin's Only Out Tonight Because He's Shitting And Puking

Photo: Kirk Irwin (Getty)

Even though the Blue Jackets are holding on to third place in a pretty messy Metropolitan Division, the scuttlebutt around the league is that they’ll be sellers, not buyers at the trade deadline. Artemi Panarin is an unrestricted free agent after this season, and it seems clear that he’s not going to resign with Columbus. Their goaltender, Sergei Bobrovsky, is in the same boat.

Both are candidates to leave the team by next Monday, so when the Blue Jackets announced that Panarin would miss tonight’s game because of “illness,” it was easy for everyone to imagine a trade was coming shortly.

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Was a Panarin deal imminent? Has he already played his last game as a Blue Jacket? Not according to head coach John Tortorella. All that’s up with Panarin is a case of the shits and the pukes.

It’s nice to know that everything is okay.

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