There are few things of which we are certain, but one is this: When we get out of bed at an ungody hour to view Maria Sharapova playing Elena Dementieva in the Wimbledon quarterfinals (Sharapova won, 6-1, 6-4), what we don't want to see is this (pictured). We want this. And perhaps this. Under no circumstances, this. Got it? Kids, remember: you can grow up to be a purse snatcher, a crooked professional soccer referee, a jailhouse snitch; anything is better than streaker. Steaking is JUST WRONG.
Unless you're a woman, and you're hot.
No, sorry. WRONG.