This image was lost some time after publication.

Anyone who might be hanging around the Pittsburgh area over the next few days is encouraged to hit the party to end all parties: The All-Star Ball With The Cansecos!

That's right, for a mere $20 of your hard-earned cash — though ladies get in free from 9-10:30 p.m. — you can spend your All-Star's Eve with "Jessica Canseco, Jose Canseco, two Playboy Playmates and the Pennsylvania bikini team." (That team is rife with roiders, by the way.)

You can get tickets at 412-261-1802. Beware, however: Proper dress is required. That is to say, you can't wear this.

All-Star Ball With The Cansecos [MatrixPGH]
Jose Canseco Is Scaring The Children [Deadspin]