AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him and let him know what you think of him.
Out of the "Baseball Tonight" crew, it'd be safe to say that Harold Reynolds would've been one of the longshots to be accused of sexual harassment. However, as of this week, we know that's not the case, and "Handsy" Harold has left Bristol, his legacy of demonstrating bunt techniques and calling people studs now permanently marred by indiscretion.
And it's woefully apparent that if HR can be taken down, all sports analysts are susceptible. There is no safe hug when it comes to interns, fellas. So, today I'm slipping out of my leather pants, unstrapping the ball gag, and handicapping the next sports analyst to be accused of sexual harassment.
Let's go check out some back tattoos, after the jump.
Steve Kerr: 5/1
Don't be fooled by Kerr's affable charm and $4 haircut: behind that smirk lurks a man scoping out whale tails during commercial breaks. So, put a 22-year-old intern with a 90's Bulls fixation in a conversation with him, and he'll completely unravel. It'll start out innocent enough, but then there'll be post-game cocktails at TGI Friday's, invitations to watch some old footage of game film and an eventual rousing game of Indian wrestling. "Me and Scottie used to do it all the time!!!", he'll say. No, you didn't, Steve. No, you didn't.
Joe Theismann: 7/1
He's always presented himself as a man of strong moral character and been very cautious of how he's perceivediIt's Theees-man). But with the new MNF gig, he'll be opened up to a whole gaggle of interns, all of whom he'll think have interest in hearing about his storied career as a player. Who could pass up a chance to see the scar on his leg? I know I couldn't. Nobody could. Unfortunately, HR's made unbuttoning your pants a sin around ESPN.
Sterling Sharpe: 2/1
Sterling's just too dapper and handsome and shouldn't even be allowed to talk to young girls, let alone touch them. First time this guy high-fives an assistant producer after a show, NBC will have him escorted out of the building. You know, for precautionary measures.
Kevin Kennedy: 3/1
Yack. There's always been something creepy about him, even when he was a manager. Is it the pock-marks or the mustache? And you can almost smell the booze on him through the television. Kennedy will probably use the whole, "You look just like my niece" approach at first and send little boxes of chocolate covered pretzels, and then he'll not-so-tactfully ask to touch her cleavage.
Mary Carillo: EVEN
She'll fly under the radar for a little while, being very ambigious about her approach to female interns — she'll compliment them on their sweater vests and posture, as opposed to their asses. But then, she'll start bringing them handmade Christmas ornaments offer to take them hiking in Big Sur, where she'll proceed to bring up discomforting topics about Steffi Graf's legs and how Anna Kournikava's "not that pretty" in person. Then she'll offer the impressionable young lady a dried apricot and move in for a warm hug, where she'll not so subtly then ask the young lass to pee on her thigh. MC's a menace, bottom line. Remember Paula Poundstone?