It's Day 1C at the World Series of poker, and I still can't find any evidence of Bill Simmons have played a hand yet. He must be in the field tomorrow, though I'd like to think that he was somehow responsible for Louie Anderson's profane outbursts. Some notes, arranged in handy bulleted lists:

Thus Far Today:
• Louie Anderson received a 10-minute penalty for repeated use of the word "fuck."
• 2004 runner-up Sammy Farha was busted with a full house.
• Penn & Teller were on hand for the ceremonial "Shuffle up and deal" announcement. That had to get people fired up.
• The first player eliminated on the day was gone in three minutes. That's $55.55 per second of life in the tournament.


• Phil Hellmuth showed up late, as usual, and then busted out of the tournament is six hours. Applause and laughter seemed to be the general reaction in the room.
• Real player eliminations: Doyle Brunson, Tiffany Williamson, Gavin Smith, Evelyn Ng, Miami John Cernuto, Barry Shulman and Howard Lederer.
• With thanks to commentor " Sh!tShow," the headline when Ron Jeremy was eliminated read, " Ron Jeremy Busts."
• Golf pro Paul Azinger made it through the day.
• Other celebrity eliminations: Shannon Elizabeth, and Brad Garett.

And I offer the Shannon Elizabeth picture as an apology to those of you who don't care about poker.

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