What to watch after police return your enormous burrito ...
• MLB: Detroit at New York Yankees. A preview of the ALCS (oops, did we say that out loud?) [ESPN]
• Tennis: U.S. Open, men's first and women's second round, at New York. Oh Squeegee boy, you missed a spot ... [USA]
• WNBA: Finals, Game 1, Sacramento at Detroit. We're just betting that if Detroit wins this thing, there'll be no riot. [ESPN2]