We know that Darryl Strawberry has made considerable strides toward cleaning up his life in recent years, and for that we applaud him: Not everyone can be Dwight Gooden, after all. But we still find it somewhat, eh, curious by this auction currently up for bid at MLB.com.
This auction features the opportunity to have Darryl Strawberry come to YOUR school! The winning bidder of this auction will have the chance to have New York Legend Darryl Strawberry attend your school for a special appearance for up to an hour. Strawberry will also give a short speech to your school on valubable life lessons. Don't miss out on this rare opportunity to have a super star like Daryl Strawberry come to YOUR school!
(We hope Darryl's first comment is, "It's two 'R's, you dope.'")
The current bid is $250, and the auction ends Saturday; only schools in the New York City tri-state area need apply. While we hope the kids are able to resist the temptation to taunt with "DAR-RYLLLLLL!" repeatedly, we do enjoy that the auction includes the addendum: "This item has an MLB Hologram affixed to guarantee the item is 100% authentic" and stipulates that there is a $10 shipping fee. (Oh, and you can't ship to P.O. Boxes.) In other words, you can't tattoo Darryl and mail him somewhere, which is good, because, really, hasn't Darryl suffered enough?