"So yeah, then all these people start sending me letters. Crazy shit, too, like Bible verses, and poems. Like I can read poems ... I'm a horse, ferchristsakes. And now the vets are back putting me into this sling, and I'm twirling around above a tub of water like a goddamned circus sideshow. If they find out I'm here, I'm glue, by the way. Hey, who does a horse have to stomp in the face to get a cigarette around here?"
Actually, this occurred in England, and the horse's name is Peggy. Let's get right to the quotes. From the BBC:
Jackie Gray recently took over the Alexandra Hotel in Jarrow and said she was shocked when carthorse Peggy joined owner Peter Dolan for a pint. "When I bought the pub a few weeks ago I heard rumours that one of the regulars was a horse but I didn't quite believe them. It was a hot day when the horse came in and I was shocked at first because I have never run a pub before."
Mr. Dolan, 61, from Jarrow, bought Peggy six years ago and discovered her fondness for the pub when she followed him inside. The 12-year-old's tipple is a pint of John Smiths and pickled onion crisps.
Ironic too, since this is the horse in town that should be drinking.