What to watch as militant squirrels stage a coup to liberate your nuts ...
• College football: West Virginia at Connecticut. UConn has a football team? We mean, UConn has a football team! [ESPN]
• Golf: Champions Tour, AT&T Championship, first round, at San Antonio. Please set all cell phones to "vibrate." [The Golf Channel]
• Motor sports: NASCAR Grand National and Elite Divisions, qualifying for All-Star Showdown, at Irwindale, Calif. No jokes, please. [Speed Channel]