As you may have heard, the St. Louis Cardinals are your 2006 World Series champions. Um... I'm a little uncomfortable here. It's a bit of a shame that the responsibility of the post-World Series post falls to me, because I really didn't care who won. But it might be a good thing, too, because at this very moment, Will is probably waking up in a drained pool somewhere, bright red from head to toe, due to some combination of Cardinal-red body paint, blood, and friction burns from dry humping everything in sight for 11 straight hours.
As for me, I just can't enjoy any World Series when I know that Jimmy Fallon won't be involved in the celebration. The Associated Press decided to take a pretty joyless approach themselves:
ST. LOUIS (AP) — No Fall Classic, for sure.
Flatter than the Midwestern heartland and a flop in the TV ratings, this World Series crowned a champion that barely made it to the postseason and then had to survive rain and cold as much as the bumbling Detroit Tigers.
The St. Louis Cardinals will take it, though.
Wow. Bunch of dicks.
Congratulations, of course, to all of you who enjoyed seeing the Cardinals win, and to all of you who are glad you'll only have to hear Joe Buck on Sundays now. Will may be around sometime this weekend, if the doctors can bring him back around.
(Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)