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Colts @ Patriots. All week long, the Brady/Manning hype machine has been working harder than the Vader-esque panel inserted in Al Davis's chest. For two reasons, though, I don't mind. First, it could be much worse... imagine if this game was on ESPN. And secondly, it is Manning vs. Brady, and it is sort of awesome, so sure, go ahead and hype the hell out of it. What am I going to do, watch the Colorado Rapids vs. Houston Dynamo instead?

Broncos @ Steelers. It's the most baffling NFL spread of the year: Pittsburgh is favored by 2.5 points. In case you had forgotten, Denver is 5-2, Pittsburgh is 2-5. Denver just lost a nailbiter to one of the league's two undefeated teams, and Pittsburgh just lost a non-nailbiter to a team that got five completions and 51 yards from their quarterback, and really, it wasn't a bad game for him. I don't understand.

Chiefs @ Rams. Trent Green will be in uniform for the Chiefs, despite the fact that there's no chance of him playing. He's officially the third quarterback, but if it were to come to that, fullback Dee Brown (how many goddamn Dee Browns are there?) would actually fill the emergency quarterback role. Essentially, Trent Green is playing dress-up this week, and I'm not giving him any leftover candy.

Packers @ Bills. Ah, what the hell... Brett Favre and J.P. Losman are so infrequently featured here in the Deadspin NFL preview, so I'm throwing them a bone as they both play to save what's left of their seasons. With two straight Green Bay wins, it's been a while since anyone's called for Brett Favre's immediate retirement.