It's Heartfelt Friday, three days following the elections, and never before have so many politicians been so terribly, terribly sorry. Chief among them is George Allen — son of the former Washington Redskins coach — who was riding high in the polls in August before an unfortunate turn of phrase sent his numbers plummeting like a safe full of quarters. He called his opponent's campaign aid a "macaca" not once, but twice (relive the fun in the video above), and then apologized profusely, but it did no good. Ironic: If he had simply botched the joke like John Kerry did, perhaps Democrats would not now control the Senate.
But as the following items demonstrate, the week's crippling, bitter regret does not end with politics. We are truly living in the golden age of of remorse.
• "Sorry For Broadcasting 'The Best Of Goebbels' To Our Students." — Forestview High School principal Robert Carpenter
• "Sorry — I thought you were wearing the Nutty Buddy." — Tyler Brayton
• "Sorry for that horrible racist slur directed at Dikembe Mutombo. Oh, and also for my first name." — Hooman Hamzehloui
• "Sorry for going mental at the youth football game. Thanks for not tasering me." — Marianne Jackson
• "I apologise for shoving Arsene Wenger, and you know this is one of those sloppy European soccer apologies, because I spell 'apologise' with an 's.' " — Alan Pardew
• "Sorry For Accidentally Kicking Jesus In The Groin." — Calvary Chapel kung fu student