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• Calling himself "Ron Herpes" probably would have defeated the point.
• David Hirshey takes on Bill Simmons. (Kind of.)
• ESPN is down with independent films. One might almost call them underground!
• Tony LaRussa is ACTING!
• You know what's awesome? The BCS!
• Ali Rap is bullocks.
• USC just has the darndest time with its cheerleaders.
Soccer orgies!
• Ah, motivational speaking douchebags, they're just the best.
• Our pal, Lucious Pusey. (Er, Seymour.)
• Why Michael Irvin is the way that he is.
• Carl Lewis will spike your drink.

See? Deadspin is both fun AND educational!

Anyway, The Mighty MJD will take you around the world of televised athletics this weekend, so have fun with him. We'll be back Monday, hopefully nursing a hangover, or at least a tiny piglet.