Because we don't quite provide everything you might need to feed your international skiing jones, you might not necessarily have heard of Silvan Zurbriggen, a Swiss skiier who is in Italy for a big slalom event. He was keeping himself busy, apparently; he was arrested for masturbating outdoors in front of a woman's apartment. He had a perfectly reasonable explanation.
The 25-year-old said that he was simply urinating and "did what every man would do and I shook my penis to get rid of every last drop. I'm very sorry I offended this woman and I will tell her I'm very sorry and I will also pay a fine if I have to."
We have to say, we wish we had heard of this potential excuse when we were, say, 14. You do, after all, make sure to get rid of every last drop.
Zurbriggen's Indecent Denial [EuroSport]