Say we were to find some gal...and I know we got a shit load of stuff to do...but I'm just saying, for the sake
of argument, we stumble onto something.This person's vulnerable as hell. You know, young thing, wallflower type
or whatever. Disfigured in some way. Some woman who is pretty sure that life and I mean a full, healthy sexual life, romance, stuff like that...is lost to her forever...

Anyhow, we take a girl of that type...some corn-fed bitch who'd mess her pants if you sharpen a pencil for her...and we both hit her. Small talk, a dinner date, flowers. No pushing it the first night out, but it's like...taking her out, you know, to see an ice show.Something like that. We just do it, you and me, upping the ante all the time.

Hey, if suddenly, you've got two men, you're calling her mom, you're wearing makeup again, and are ready to play on and on and on, until one day out goes the rug, you're ready to be a Deadspin advertiser. Click here to find out how.

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