The New York Daily News reported yesterday that portly pop diva Britney Spears — known as third from the left on the music evolutionary chart, with Hillary Duff on the far left and Courtney Love on the far right — was turned down by the NFL Network when she approached them about appearing in a Super Bowl ad. Quoth an NFL insider:

"She's too much of a train wreck," says the insider. "Besides, we already have Paris Hilton."

The ad in question is supposed to feature various NFL stars and celebrities attending Chad Johnson's Super Bowl party; Larry David is said to be playing a part, which is too random an incident for us to wrap our minds around. And if that weren't enough, it looks like Kevin Federline is going to be in a Nationwide ad during the Super Bowl. And all this talk is just assuring that we're going to use the commercial time for what it was meant for: Using the bathroom.

NFL Tells Britney To Pound Sand [West Side Slant]
Britney's Ex To Star In Super Bowl Ad [Business Week]