The day has come, folks: David Beckham's first formal press conference as a member of the MLS is today. DC Sports Bog will be live blogging the presser, and though we're not sure how that's gonna work, it'll likely be entertaining anyway.
As we marvel over those schnazzy jerseys, we nevertheless turn to more important issues: That whole Beckham Look-A-Like contest winner. So we pass the mic to Mr. Hirshey:
Thanks to all your ladies who entered Deadspin's LAST Annual Becksiest Man Alive Contest. We were overwhelmed by the clever photoshopping, natural beauty, and, of course, magnificent abs that would get David Zinczenko hot.
In the end, as in Highlander, there can be only one. And our guest panel of judges, including John Amaechi, Tim Hardaway and Jay Mariotti wrestled with the decision — and each other — late into the night until somebody came out on top.
So, without further ado — or for that matter Freddy Adu — we present the first runnerup: Jack Neely, who hails from David Beckham's new hometown and like the great man himself rocks two "iced out Jesus pieces", whatever that means.
We sincerely hope, for Jack's sake, that this is heavily photoshopped and not a recent snapshot.
And now for your winner. He is none other than Deadspin commenter TattooedMess(iah) who, astonishingly, did not photoshop his impressive tats and pubic muscle definition (thanks to Leitch for pointing that out).
So congratulations TM, you've won two tickets to see Goldenballs in action, which you'll either have to travel for or wait until the MLS starts a Florida franchise. Your call. But be forewarned. Should any embarrassing photos turn up of you and Miss New Jersey, then Jack Neely is standing by, flexing his Jesus piece.