What you missed during your shocking slapfest ...
• MLB: All hail El Duque, stealer of bases, and of our hearts! Mets 7, Padres 0.
• Tour de France: Top o' the world, ma! Juan Mauricio Soler pedals nimbly through the Alps.
• Pan Am Games: OK, question. If I e-mailed Shawn Johnson to congratulate her on winning two gold medals in gymnastics, would I get a surprise visit from Chris Hansen of Dateline MSNBC?