Twins ace Johan Santana flirted with a no-no into the sixth, until Indians pretty boy Grady Sizemore turned on the lights and told him, "Um, you should probably get going now, Johan." (Grady hit a double.) Damn cock tease. Final score: Twins 3, Indians 2.

And oh, Jason Tyner finally went deep for his first career homerun in 1,220 at-bats. Quick story: I used to heckle the shit out of that kid back when he played right-field for the Rays. No real reason. I just felt "TY-NER" was a fantastic name to mock.

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Batmen To The Rescue. Jonathan Papelbon blew his second save in 25 chances, but the Red Sox scored six runs in the 12th to beat the Devil Rays 12-6. Coupled with a Yankees loss to the Orioles, the Sox now sit nine up.

I've Buried It Down Here, So Try And Guess What Happened. Bonds popped out twice and struck out against Dontrelle Willis. Sigh. The beat goes on. And in case you care, Ray Durham hit the game-winning single in the ninth to give the Giants the 4-3 win.

The Magic Continues. Chris Young homered and scored the winning run on Conor "Action" Jackson's single in the 10th to lead the D-Backs over the Braves for their eighth win in a row. Action Jackson, eh? That's a solid wrestling name.