If you think dancing for an NBA team is just about bleaching your hair blonde, suiting up in tight-fitting Spandex, and shaking what the good Lord — or a good surgeon — gave you, then 10 years ago you were actually correct. But times have changed, and in an era where Jason Kidd is no longer legally bound to one woman, he needs not hide his tawdry affairs and can try to make it with any nearby female partners. So we need them at their top physical condition, so as to fend off his dinner invitations.

The New Jersey Nets dance team, creatively named the Nets Dancers, underwent a full day of grueling training, which involved resistance bands, swinging sledgehammers, and rolling kegs — of which the latter two exercises helped them become excellent candidates for a Broadway revival of Donkey Kong.

And perhaps it's merely the aftershock of watching Miss South Carolina attempt to speak into a microphone (which I'll link to again later in the post), but the captain of the dance team didn't exactly use the right phrasing:

"I worked out body parts I didn't know I had," Adar Wellington, the squad's captain, said after a full day's workout.

Okay, technically I guess a body part is any subset of living cells within oneself, but when one uses "body part," they normally mean appendage, and most of us are aware of our own limbs and extra nipples. I won't tease too much, because my definition of exercise today was taking the stairs, instead of the elevator, after coming back from Wendy's. But at least I was able to find the Wendy's here in St. John's, since I had a map. Not everyone does.


Nets Dancers Kick Up And Dig In Their Heels [New York Times]