Just tell us one thing, Burke. You're going out there to destroy them, right? Not to study. Not to bring back. But to wipe them out.

If one of those things gets down here, then that will be all. Then all this ... this bullshit that you think is so important ... you can just kiss all that goodbye.

If you're don't see them fucking each other over for a goddamn percentage, you're ready to be a Deadspin advertiser. Click here to find out how.

• Cazadores Tequila

• Verizon

• Annie Lennox

• TiVo

• Becks

• NFL Network

• XBox

• Mandalay Bay

Also, remember back when we had one of those demographic surveys a while ago? Well, yep: Here's another one. Some randomly selected folk will receive a $100 Amazon.com gift certificate, which you should obviously use to pre-order books. But anyway: Surveys are fun, really.

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