I've just been wired an announcement from the Department of Stuff We Already Friggin' Learned In Third Grade: drugs are bad for you and they're illegal. Did you know they're illegal? They're also bad for you. Apparently the DSWAFLTG is not on the same page with the WHONDCP (White House Office of National Drug Control Policy, because they're about to drop some serious cash on a Super Bowl ad explaining such.

And don't expect to laugh either:

[T]he organization, which aims to create programs to stop illicit drug use, drug-related crime and violence, and drug manufacturing and trafficking, will run at least one commercial during the event.

They go on to detail the ONDCP's history of somber Super Bowl ads, like in 2002 when they said that buying drugs helps fund terrorism.


I have a seasoned beef with two traits pertaining to Super Bowl commercials, which is coincidentally the way I judge underwhelming Deadspin comments:

(1) If they're not funny
(2) If they're politically charged or pertain to a serious issue

Usually I can condone one of those broken commandments if the other rule is far from being breached. A hilarious political ad? Sure. An unfunny commercial for some product? (Looking your way, SalesGenie.com.) Well, at least they're trying to stay in business.


But if it's a straight-faced "don't do drugs" commercial, then come on, government. I pay your salary. At least the third grade drug counselor came up with a sing-a-long, with clapping and rhyming and free donuts.

The White House Wants to Wreck Your Super Bowl Viewing Experience [FanIQ]
White House Drug Office Has Super Bowl Plans [Advertising Age]

(Aside: So 100% Injury Rate writes for FanIQ now? All this blog synergy is making my head spin. Head ... spin ... dot ... com.)