The suspect: Buddy, the black labrador. Crime: Chewing Super Bowl tickets. Last seen: Licking own privates. Other possible suspects: Rabid squirrel ... parakeet ... Roomba. Trial date: pending.

Buddy, a 3-year-old Labrador retriever opted for high-end snacks — two Super Bowl XLII tickets. Face value: $900 each. The mishap occurred Wednesday when Chris Gallagher requested that a courier leave the anticipated package under the doormat of his Avondale home. The courier instead slipped the envelope under the front door. Buddy accepted delivery. He didn't sign, but he licked, mauled, chewed and swallowed portions of the coveted tickets.

Not a smart move by Buddy, considering that he can now be easily replaced: Michael Vick's dogs have just been put up for adoption. Oh, and Super Bowl tickets are now going for between $4,500 and $19,000 on resale.

Later that day, in the boathouse:

"Buddy, you're nothing to me now. You're not my dog, you're not a friend. I don't want to know you or what you do. I don't want to see you at the park, I don't want you near my house. When you see the cat, I want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there. You understand?"

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Sacked: Avondale Dog Chews Up Super Bowl Tickets [The Arizona Republic]
Mike Vick's Pitt Bulls Put Up For Adoption [SFGate]
Super Bowl Tickets Going For Up To $19,000 [MSNBC]